our eyes when we finally arrive in Jurassic World. We hear the iconic theme song only to have it peter
out over…buildings and park guests? It’s a big no-no for an establishing shot in a Jurassic Park movie
period, but he then goes on to commit this offense three more times. We are treated to some pretty
wacky and downright cartoonish characters, lines of dialog, and plot points. Chris Pratt taming raptors,
Bryce Dallas Howard being a tightly wound cold robot of a woman, and Vincent D’Onofrio with quite
possibly the stupidest plan ever conceived in the history of ever, absolutely bog down the first 20-30
minutes of this movie- at which point, like the dull kid characters we’ve been following- we get strapped
into the front row seat of a thrill ride that never comes to an end until the credits roll.
matter. We know Owen is the good guy, because he’s nice to animals. That’s about all we get, and all we
need to know. The only thing that slows down the high speed chase is the few times it tries to go back to
being a suspense movie…or clumsily having characters who get eaten a few seconds deliver horribly bad
and totally unneeded exposition.
The Big Bad of the flick, the Indominus Rex, is a new genetically engineered crossbreed dinosaur, or -as
any fan of the first movie can tell you, and like this film repeatedly reminds us of- it’s a new “Dinosaur”.
Every animal in Jurassic World is engineered from “Frogs” and “other”, so highlighting that it was cross-
bred was a tad ubiquitous.
Trying to connect to the past is a confused at best affair. There’s a horrifically morbid “meta” joke, about
our comic relief character wearing a Jurassic Park shirt that he bought on ebay…I get the fact that
someone who was brought in to clear out the island could have grabbed a shirt from the ill-fated
experiment, but we’re not talking a 19-0 Patriots shirt…we’re talking about a massacre where people
died horribly. The events of the first movie definitely happened in the reality of this world, but somehow
the park itself was allowed to rebuild and has become a modern day “Island of Adventure” packed to
capacity with 22,000 people-looking and feeling exactly like its real life counter-part, but with a cold
futuristic look and glass cases having none of magic, mystery, and wonder of a simple gate, palm trees,
and animal sounds- or you know, a certain iconic song playing on repeat. There’s passing mention of
John Hammond having died, but in this twisted reality, you’d think we would have gotten the slightest
mention of Dr. Alan Grant arrested for trying to sabotage the open, or college hipster devotees of Dr. Ian
Malcolm standing on the docks protesting the horrors of “Jurassic World”.
History of course repeats itself, and the safety of those in the park is not priority for the people in
charge, or their In-Gen Mercs who roll in guns blazing. The big “plot twist” of the movie should smack
most everyone over the head immediately, but crowds reacted with that “oh ****” moment that
Trevorrow had oh so carefully crafted, where we learn that this super intelligent dinosaur that has been
hunting for sport and using deception is dun dun dun… part raptor! There are at least three expertly
done stand-out scenes, the “hamster ball”, “the raptor hunt” and the much hyped street fight to
determine the king of the dinos at the end of the film. The Hamster Ball scene, is so powerful and
expertly done, we can actually forgive the ridiculous circumstances that set it up (kids piloting their own
vehicle with unknown horsepower that might not even have an engine, having free range to joy-ride on
different types of ground. Even the jeeps in the first movie were electric and on a track!)
This week, we're opening a section for Reviews, first and foremost. Inside, we will have all kinds of goodies, including features like top tens, highs and lows, etc. Stay tuned for more of the changes and improvements of URUNIVERSE!